Traffic

I have decided that going to the gym is lame. I could totally be doing something else way more fun. I say working out should be coupled with something lame that you have to do anyway, like sitting in traffic.

I've thought of several different possibilities:

• Workout DVD. Almost all cars now come with a player built in. I'm sure if Cindy Crawford can figure out how to workout in the middle of the desert with Rafu she can figure out how to make a video while driving.

• For all of you tree huggers out there (you know who you are). Remove the driver's seat and insert either a) a bicycle or b) a hamster wheel. You want to go somewhere? You're going to have to earn it.

• For you lazy MoFo's like me... those Tens Unit things. I mean if it is meant to stimulate your muscles, it's a work out, right? It could plug right in to the outlet formerly know as your cigarette lighter. I do imagine that there may be some risk of a power surge and being electrocuted but hey, no pain - no gain.

Weight: 213.6